Back and Forth with God

     I go back and forth with my relationship with God.  My reason in doing so is always a mystery to me.  My heart and mind go back and forth when I am disappointed with the spiritual community that I am trying to engage.  For example, our church has gone through changes in the past month, although the kids are getting something out of the children's church my husband and I get nothing out of the service.  There is nothing for us at the church we call home.  We want stability and faith, yet we do not want to discourage our children from being active within the community we have chosen. 
     The word chosen is a good word.  It is a word that we have described when we speak of our pastor.  The pastor that we have learned and fellowshipped with is the one we chose.  When the church joined with another church we gained a new pastor as well.  My husband says that we did not chose this man.  The decision remains as what we do with the information we are assimilating (a borg reference) now.  Do we change churches and expect the kids to change with us? or Do we attend our own church when the kids are with their other parents?  These are still questions that I am mulling over within my heart and soul.  Prayer is essential.

Things that go on at church

     Barry and I go to a church that has recently gone through a merger with another church.  This has been the transition that we have emotionally fought through at home behind close doors.  On Sunday was the first service of the new church.  We went in there with very bad attitudes, yet after some encouragement from others and a most revealing conversation with our pastor set the tone for us for our return.  It was my answer that shocked me the most when talking to the pastor.  We had offered up the information that we were going camping.  The pastor asked where we were going.  I finally said that we were going to Lothlorien Nature Sanctuary.  We told him all about the campground and the fact that in general most of the campers would be Pagan.  Our pastor did exactly what he is suppose to and make us feel comfortable in order to talk freely.  We may not agree on doctrine, but we come together as one people.