Back and Forth with God

     I go back and forth with my relationship with God.  My reason in doing so is always a mystery to me.  My heart and mind go back and forth when I am disappointed with the spiritual community that I am trying to engage.  For example, our church has gone through changes in the past month, although the kids are getting something out of the children's church my husband and I get nothing out of the service.  There is nothing for us at the church we call home.  We want stability and faith, yet we do not want to discourage our children from being active within the community we have chosen. 
     The word chosen is a good word.  It is a word that we have described when we speak of our pastor.  The pastor that we have learned and fellowshipped with is the one we chose.  When the church joined with another church we gained a new pastor as well.  My husband says that we did not chose this man.  The decision remains as what we do with the information we are assimilating (a borg reference) now.  Do we change churches and expect the kids to change with us? or Do we attend our own church when the kids are with their other parents?  These are still questions that I am mulling over within my heart and soul.  Prayer is essential.